This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: May 26, 2023
May 19
I think about this interaction at least 1x/day pic.twitter.com/YAFBi5Fyyw
— Alex Cohen (@anothercohen) May 20, 2023
Hey guys sorry if I haven't been as active on here lately I've been training orcas to attack boats
— Thor Benson (@thor_benson) May 20, 2023
The summer of whatever it is Daniel Day-Lewis is trying to do has begun. pic.twitter.com/jcDj6mGw8d
— Kevin Clark (@bykevinclark) May 19, 2023
This is how you eat Italian Pizza....👍😄 pic.twitter.com/loVxXpEDgJ
— The Best (@Figensport) May 19, 2023
Me after airballing everything but remembering my chicken strips are on the way: https://t.co/jltHOkyKKz pic.twitter.com/QRyYLXuNMt
— Charlie Sundin (@SunnyDCharChar) May 20, 2023
This woman just loudly asked the nail tech, who was born and raised here, how she likes life in the states. When the tech looked puzzled, she said it slower and louder. Before I could speak, another customer said, 'Lady, she's literally American, pls be quiet.'
— Ororo Munroe Jr. (@DPMCanty) May 19, 2023
Lied. The word is lied. She lied. Lots. https://t.co/Gz5mKZg1Dg
— Kikki Planets (@KikkiPlanet) May 20, 2023
my partner's been out of town for 6 days while I'm home w 2 kids and we're officially in feral mode. My kid asked for her 4th popsicle of the night and I was like "yeah girl grab me another one too"
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 20, 2023
There's only one reporter you'd want for this story pic.twitter.com/uSW0wES5Yr
— Gary Taphouse (@garytaphouse) May 19, 2023
I am a:
— Roxi Horror 💀🌸 (@roxiqt) May 20, 2023
⚪ male
⚪ female
⚪ nonbinary
🔘 orca
Interested in:
⚪ men
⚪ women
⚪ nonbinaries
🔘 sinking boats in Europe
applauding the orcas that are deliberately attacking the luxury yachts during the climate crisis https://t.co/LoXesMpzhF
— David Sirota (@davidsirota) May 19, 2023
this is what unions can do for you https://t.co/uSugWSiROy
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) May 19, 2023
May 20
an orca patiently sitting through a Geico commercial before it can watch a boat sinking tutorial on youtube
— Ygrene™ (@Ygrene) May 20, 2023
*best joke ever written pic.twitter.com/f4Eh9BuGfn
— It's Literally Richard Stott (@TheRstott) May 20, 2023
— monica (@waystarroyhoe) May 21, 2023
That mosquito you can't find but you hear it pic.twitter.com/vObPYTCOYr
— KASHMIR. (@thisiskashmir) May 21, 2023
L.A. Gangsta Rap in the 90s was insane. They would diss the hell outta their enemies for two verses, then give you an 8 bar saxophone solo
— DJ R-Tistic (@DJRTistic) May 20, 2023
{concert}
— kim (@KimmyMonte) May 20, 2023
lead singer: WHO'S READY TO ROCK?!
me (from the pit trying to clean my glasses with the front of my shirt) JUST A SEC
Me about to start reading a new book: Uh oh this is going to be a lot of work!!!
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) May 20, 2023
Me reading a book: Awww yeah! It's my good friends, words, up to their old tricks again!!!
Your boss isn't your dad, they're someone richer than you who's trying to use your labor to make themselves even more rich than you, and you should always try to shake every collective dollar you can out of them. https://t.co/G8TzzYJFKq
— all my teams want me dead (@PanasonicDX4500) May 21, 2023
It's never wise to poke the bear 🫣 pic.twitter.com/YJbeqUzV6i
— NBACentral (@TheNBACentral) May 20, 2023
Poor intern forgot she was on the Wizards account 💀 pic.twitter.com/H49fmqE56A
— Dwight (@Doty_Dwight_99) May 20, 2023
The way she skedaddled 😭🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/0UbXBM7z39
— Mesh🇧🇧 (@rahsh33m) May 20, 2023
i told the bus driver he was hot when i got off the bus because life's short but now he's my driver on the way back too so turns out life is long
— You Will Find Your People is out now📕NYC 5/26 (@hellolanemoore) May 20, 2023
All of North America is blanketed in horrible smoke because a few libertarian staffers in Alberta decided to cut 2 million dollars from our firefighting budget 🤷🏻
— The Star Trek Professor 🖖 (@tedmccoy) May 20, 2023
After you finally decide to sign up for a gym pic.twitter.com/jFwSbpWfyU
— The Best (@Figensport) May 20, 2023
Maybe you gotta cut out the squares https://t.co/5KbfBj78BE
— Mik. | Designer & Organizer (@OkSoMik) May 20, 2023
It's throwing star summer y'all pic.twitter.com/LAdyRO7Ajs
— Horrora Borealis (@horroraborealis) May 20, 2023
Why is there a gun? 🤔 pic.twitter.com/f0d2uTzjd1
— David Leavitt 🍕🎮🎲🧙♂️ (@David_Leavitt) May 20, 2023
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