This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: December 2, 2022
u are white ur not "FINNA" NOTHING— ☻ javi˚✧₊❝᷀ົཽ♪ (@suryously) November 25, 2022
I would love for you all to do jackass stuff https://t.co/g6L4FUN6X8— pj (@pjayevans) November 25, 2022
Kids folding laundry and chatting:— Dr Neela Janakiramanan (@NeelaJan) November 26, 2022
13 year old: why are the pyramids in Egypt
10 year old: because they are too big for the British to steal
All three cackle loudly.
My parenting work is done.
I think the pandemic was the first time many people were forced to adjust their behavior out of consideration for others (in an unfamiliar way) and it immediately made half the country insane— Being nice for clout (@InternetHippo) November 25, 2022
there's gotta be another way to say this pic.twitter.com/Hlq8K4WJEo— sarah hagi (@KindaHagi) November 25, 2022
It still blows my mind every time I randomly look at the price of a TV nowadays. pic.twitter.com/FbwV6HnqWo— Sheel Mohnot (@pitdesi) November 26, 2022
Producer: We have no train.— Will McCrabb (@mccrabb_will) November 25, 2022
Wes Anderson: No problem. pic.twitter.com/U8TbAMVhcg
As an alpha male, I rebuke rollercoasters. I will not be jostled and flown along a silly track according to another man's engineering. Flipping around some pervert's dream. And what if I squeal??— philip matarese (@philorphilip) November 25, 2022
Please pick up.— Fuck You I Quit (@fuckyouiquit) November 25, 2022
Oh good, an email from every single store or website I've ever bought something from.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) November 25, 2022
no matter how small you try to make that "unsubscribe" at the bottom of an email, I WILL FIND IT pic.twitter.com/MXWMeX0Y9p— Lazzyyyyyy (@em_Lazzy) November 25, 2022
no that's normal pic.twitter.com/vL8UAYOFHK— cait (@punished_cait) November 25, 2022
I just need you to see the stairs in an apartment I viewed. Am I a mountain goat? pic.twitter.com/qazdB31z9I— Ez (@ezzzzzzx) November 25, 2022
dog: [brings sticks inside]— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) November 25, 2022
me: no that belongs outside
me, at Christmas time: [brings entire tree inside]
dog: what the actual shit is this
As a teacher, you're sometimes privileged to witness life moments. I saw a girl approach a boy to ask if he wanted her number.— Tom Mitchell (@cakesthebrain) November 25, 2022
He paused, then pulled out his phone. Utter joy on the girl's face.
I then confiscated the phone as it's against rules to have it out in the corridor.
The winner of England vs USA gets to erase the other version of The Office.— Kashana (@kashanacauley) November 25, 2022
Can't be a USA fan when we play another country, it's too easy to own us. You try to talk trash to a British guy and he says like "Oi go pay your deductible mate" it's over at that point— Being nice for clout (@InternetHippo) November 25, 2022
I, for one, am rooting for the funniest possible outcome here. pic.twitter.com/a1yTq1I3p5— barbarism christmas 🎄 🤶🏻 (@SxarletRed) November 25, 2022
It's hilarious to watch the richest man in the world successfully recruited by white supremacists the exact same way they recruit teen boys: targeting the angriest, loneliest ones they can find and flattering them endlessly while feeding them talking points.— Ed Burmila (@edburmila) November 26, 2022
random dude on twitter: the jews did 9/11— Scott Nover (@ScottNover) November 26, 2022
elon musk: Interesting. Looking into this.
after getting permanently suspended for 47 hours I can safely say this: I did not learn any lesson and my tweets will keep getting worse— Rob DenBleyker (@RobDenBleyker) November 26, 2022
My self-driving Tesla crosses four lanes of freeway traffic in an attempt to jackknife an oncoming subaru. In the final seconds of my life, I'm filling out a captcha to try and regain control of the vehicle, but I don't know which squares in the grid are "woke"— Brian Firenzi (Parody) (@mrbrianfirenzi) November 26, 2022
Fuck, marry, kill: the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, the wisdom to know the difference— isaac (@ass_dentata) November 27, 2022
🎶O Camo Tree,— sky (@iamspacegirl) November 26, 2022
O Camo Tree,
How tactical your branches🎶 pic.twitter.com/auFlMYWauD
THE SHINING (1980) recreated in Lego. The detail is incredible. Can't find who made these so please credit if you know. A thread...— All The Right Movies (@ATRightMovies) November 26, 2022
1/10 - The Colorado Lounge pic.twitter.com/05FMtxKpj2
This is quite possibly the most romantic thing I've ever seen. I hope they get married and sweetly retell this story at every gathering they have while looking into each other's eyes and finishing each other's sentences. I love football pic.twitter.com/sn8gbMcy9Q— Meech (@MediumSizeMeech) November 26, 2022
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