Published Apr 02, 2018Wes Anderson spent his Easter Sunday answering questions from the bowels of the Internet in a Reddit AMA yesterday (April 1), and his answers did not disappoint.
In addition to answering some boring questions about his creative process and films and such, the Isle of Dogs director finally divulged his true feelings for a few of his friends and frequent collaborators. Yes, he played a round of "Fuck, Marry, Kill" featuring Bill Murray, Owen Wilson and Jason Schwartzman as the contenders.
"I would marry all of them and we'd live in a big house with lots of kids wearing matching track suits and smoking unfiltered European cigarettes," Anderson replied. "Every morning Owen would be wow'd by Jason's amazing French Toast recipe and Bill and I would just lay in bed and talk plainly while they work in the kitchen."
Snapping out of it, he added: "Gosh, there I go dreaming again. Sorry. I'd probably fuck Owen and marry Bill. Sorry Jason, just process of elimination here."
When a Redditor suggested that the director should marry Schwartzman for his French toast alone, Anderson replied, "You just haven't tasted Bill's salty peanut butter cake balls recipe."
It's not the only time the recurring collaborators were brought up during the AMA. Anderson joked about how he maintains his recurring cast of actors. "We pay them very little and they sleep on cots that are all evenly spaced in Jason's basement," he said. "Most of our production budget goes towards levels and rulers."
He later cracked wise about making musical instruments out of the teeth and hair of his favourite collaborators ("Something about Jason Schwartzman's teeth rattling like wind chimes and Bill Murray's beard hairs playing a bass line really gets me in the groove").
Additionally, Anderson was asked how often Wilson actually says "Wow," to which he said: "He says it more than you actually think."
Read the full Q&A with Anderson here.
[Ed. Note: As countless commenters have pointed out, this Wes Anderson AMA was an April Fool's Day joke. But we still want to believe that Anderson would be this self-effacing and sarcastic in real life.]